


What Price Love?

by MaeveBran



Category: The Americans (TV 2013)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-04-02
Updated: 2015-04-02
Packaged: 2018-03-20 21:25:28
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 871
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3665631
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MaeveBran/pseuds/MaeveBran
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A missing scene from Season 2 episode 6 "Behind the Red Door". Philip and Elizabeth talk about and resolve what happened when Elizabeth asked Philip to be Clark in the bedroom.</p>
            </blockquote>





	What Price Love?

“ _Are you mad at me?_ ” Elizabeth asked Philip as she stepped beside him at the sink and helped wash the dishes.

“ _No, of course not_ ,” he replied as he looked at her. He wasn't mad at her but at himself. He should have refused her request. It was never going to go well. 

They silently did the dishes for a moment and the he changed the subject.

“ _Lucia?_ ” he asked.

“ _It's done,_ ” she replied.

He sighed and they finished the task at hand. Once the last dish was put away and they had dried their hands, they turned to go to bed. He held his hand out to her and she put her hand in his as they climbed the stairs together.

Philip thought about how this was the first time she had let him touch her since the disaster earlier that night. He really should have been more careful. A little over of a year ago he wouldn't have known that he should be careful, but then again he wouldn't have known his wife's history. She had wanted him wild but he didn't know how to be what she wanted so he had gone for forceful – too forceful.

They stepped into their bedroom and Philip dropped her hand to close the door. Elizabeth stepped away from him and sat down on the chair by the bed. She removed her boots.

“Are you sure you're not mad at me?” she asked.

“No, I'm not mad at you,” he said as he sat on the bed across from her. “I'm mad at me. No mater how frustrated I got, I should never have used you that way. You've had enough of that from other men.”

“I wanted to see what you're like with her,” Elizabeth said.

“Why?” he asked.

“Because I'm jealous,” she answered. She moved across the space to sit in his lap. “She says you're a wild animal with her and you treat me like spun glass.”

“You think the way we love is gentle?” he asked surprised. “I don't recall being particularly gentle in the car, that time. Or the last time in this bed. I respect you.” He ran a hand up her side to cup her face. “I love you, I never want to hurt you. But the way I make love to you is far more passionate than anything Clark does with Martha.”

“Why do you say that?” Elizabeth asked, genuinely curious about why he'd say it.

“Because with you, the passion and love are real. They show in my every touch,” Philip explained. “With Martha, it's all about being technical and making sure she never guesses it isn't real.”

“That's why you didn't want to be Clark with me,” she guessed. 

“Partly,” he answered. “Partly it is because for fifteen years, you and I have had technically satisfying sex but not emotionally satisfying. Then we started making love and I didn't want to go back. I wanted to feel that closeness I had begun to treasure.”

“Then why did you agree to be Clark?” she asked as she slid off his lap to sit next to him.

“For two reasons,” he explained. “I want to give you what you want and need.” He smiled wryly. “The other reason, I'm afraid, is because you challenged me. I just couldn't back down from the challenge.”

“I should know better than to challenge you,” Elizabeth said. She looked at his face trying to read him but not able to interpret what she saw there. “You really did something you felt wrong about for me?”

“Wasn't the first time,” Philip said. 

“When else?” she asked.

“After Zhukov was killed, taking Patterson,” he said. “And letting Gregory go out in a fire fight instead of ensuring he didn't talk to anyone.”

“Why?” she asked as she reached a hand up to turn his face to her.

“Because I love you,” he answered as he leaned into her touch.

“You do?” she asked.

“I do,” he said. “Is that so strange? For nearly seventeen years, we've lived together, fought together, and had two beautiful children together. All of that would create strong feelings – either of love or hate.” He reached out and pulled her back on his lap. “And I most certainly don't hate you.”

Philip reached up to pull her head down to his. He kissed her. She wrapped her arms around his neck and returned the kiss. He reached for and started undoing the buttons on her blouse. It sailed onto the floor behind her. Her bra soon joined it. He slid his hands down and cupped her buttocks. She moved her hands and soon his shirt was on the bed behind him. They frantically removed clothing and coupled swiftly, needing the intimate touch to reassure each other that the pain and anger of the last time had been an aberration. 

Later, she lay sprawled, naked, over him. Her hand on his chest and her head on his shoulder. His arm curled around her back. He traced patterns on her bare skin, the patterns becoming sloppier and sloppier as he drifted to sleep. Elizabeth soon fell asleep as well, happy to know he wasn't mad at her after all.

**Author's Note:**

> I have many Philip and Elizabeth feelings and this episode and the Clark storyline in particular brought them out in me so I had to write something. I felt they needed further conversation.


End file.
